Tips for dating an introvert

“An action movie might give the extrovert that stimulus [they crave] while the introvert gets to have a little bit of a break from social interaction,” she says.

“So, that might be an example of something that works for both people.” As an introvert myself, I’ve also found that a key component to navigating this often frustrating difference is to be okay with spending time apart, too.

’ or ‘You seem agitated, can we talk about this later when you’re calmer? Honoring these requests, she says, will help the introvert to actually hear you out.

I used to have a friend who’d say, “Dating is nothing but a numbers game.” She believed that going on more dates was equivalent to a higher likelihood of falling in love. However well-intentioned it may be, it flies in the face of a major factor essential to an introvert’s well-being—alone time. So yes, you will have times when sitting across from another human being, you’ll feel you’d rather pull out your molars without Novocaine than think of another word to say to this person. I feared if I declined, I would be passing up on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. You will have days when unexpected issues arise at work, your cat gets sick, a family member calls with an emergency, or a friend emails with the last-minute favor to which you have to say yes because they helped you out last week.

Helgoe cautions that you need to be careful not to immediately bulldoze them—ensuring an unfair fight—by raising your voice.“The research seems to suggest that introvert-extrovert dynamics generally pose challenges for the relationship,” she tells me.There are a lot of differences between those with extroverted personalities and those with introverted personalities—and they go much deeper than a preference for going out versus staying in—but one key variation between the two is often the culprit when conflict arises.“Generally, an extrovert is drawn to higher-stimulus activities and introverts are drawn to lower-stimulus activities,” Dr. “So introverts are usually trying to turn down the volume while extroverts are usually trying to turn it up.” Hence, tension. Helgoe tells me that navigating such a relationship can actually help you grow in ways that dating someone who is more similar to you cannot.To help you make it work, she offers some tips for dating an introvert when you’re on the other end of the spectrum. Helgoe, need a lot of time to process their thoughts before they speak.

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  1. “The photographs gave me that same feeling–a certain kind of loneliness, but also connection to a force greater than myself, to the kind of chaos that ultimately creates exquisite patterns.” “I can't believe photography exists,” she exclaimed.