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Grabbing you too harshly, pushing you during an argument or conflict, violating your personal boundaries in any way, pressuring you for sex, touching you inappropriately without consent is a red flag that must be heeded.
It’s a sign that things will only get worse in the future.
This form of contact is perfect for abusers to “check in” with you to see what you are up to, to make sure that you are suitably “hooked” to their attention, and is a form of “idealization” which will place you on a pedestal that at first, seems irresistible.
Of course, if you’re familiar with the vicious abuse cycle of narcissists which include idealization, devaluation and discard, you’ll know that you’ll soon be thrust off the pedestal.
Sarcasm is one of the mighty weapons in an abuser’s arsenal.
Emotional predators enjoy invalidating your thoughts, opinions and emotions by making frequent sarcastic remarks that shame you into never questioning them again.
They can maintain this control in a diverse number of ways: Although many people don’t realize this, excessive flattery and attention from a charming manipulator is actually a form of control because it keeps you dependent on their praise.This level of attentiveness is not actually “flattering” even though it may appear so initially – it’s downright and dangerous.It reveals a sense of entitlement to your time and presence without regard for your personal preferences, desires or needs.As they learn more about you, they are investigating your weak spots and catering their comments towards what they know will hurt you the most.Knowing you’re triggered by their comments gives them a sadistic sense of satisfaction that alleviates their secret sense of inferiority and strokes their delusions of grandeur, control and aptitude.
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For example, is he or she rude to the waiter or waitress on your date?