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Of course you often won’t know the answer, but always be prepared for the “dotakyan” or last minute cancellation, especially on first dates. Grace Says: If you’re a woman, you might have to suggest the first date.
Martin says: There’s a trick question I often tell my (dating) clients: Q: When do you know if a Japanese girl will go on a date with you? Men assume foreign women are more outgoing and direct (which sucks when you aren’t).
In general I’m always reluctant to recommend online dating to guys (the statistical chances of success are usually terrible for the average man), however there’s a few Japan focused dating sites where the “interracial appeal” may balance the odds a little, and of course there’s Tinder app for some quick swipe action. “English Lessons.” Websites like Hello Sensei (etc) let you teach English by offering lessons under the table. About ⅔ of the men I “teach” English to don’t ask for a second lesson once they find out I’m married. As a result, a lot of times their communication can be unclear or vague.
Two other friends started dating guys they met at English lessons. And in fact, this vagueness, or “aimai” in Japanese, is a well-studied trait in Japanese communication which is designed to be somewhat ambiguous to preserve the “wa” or harmony.
Japanese are especially uncomfortable with really assertive styles of communication and easily feel bullied, so will often seem to be saying “yes” even when they mean no.
The vast majority (upwards of 90%, I’d say) hardly have the opportunity to interact with non-Japanese unless they travel overseas.The other really easy way to meet Japanese girls is through Language Exchanges.These are one-on-one meets where you practice speaking Japanese with a native while they practice speaking English/French/German/Italian/Korean/etc with you.Unfortunately, just getting the basic meaning across can be challenging enough.You already know how important it is to keep communication simple, but in addition you want to make it interesting enough that even with no words at all, it’s worth paying attention to.
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How can you tell if a girl/guy likes you in a country where ‘yes’ can mean ‘no’?