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If you've made your best efforts in explaining to them how their selfishness hurts you and they still resist change, then there's not much more you can do. Curtis explained, "It’s actually a loving act to stop tolerating bad treatment, because it teaches others how to be kinder." Maybe you walking away is what will finally make them work on themselves.
So the next time your partner is acting selfish, try these tips and see if you can improve the situation.
Use positive affirmations like, 'I’m a really awesome person who doesn’t even mind sharing the last scoop of ice cream in the house.' If you've been dating longer than two months, chances are you and your partner had to work on other problems together to come to a happy medium.
When bringing up their selfishness, first bring attention to those past successes.
But if you can get behind the behavior and discover what motivates it, you'll have a better chance of responding in a way that might make it less powerful." Have they been ignored in the past, neglected, or might be responding to something you're doing? It's a lot more helpful to bring up a problem with a solution at the ready, so when you bring up their selfishness propose a turn-taking idea.
Corporate counselor Skornia Alison at self development site Motivation Grid explained, "Try a 'turn-taking' experiment where both of you take turns to speak, listen, and do favors to each other.
Meanwhile, he would get mad at me if I took two hours to respond.
"Ever since we met it's about what I'm doing wrong... I was lucky to get a response in anything less than an eight-hour minimum lag time.
Let this be a condition to the relationship and see how it goes." It might feel orchestrated, but it can teach them what you need and expect.
Sometimes we let selfish people steamroll us because we don't understand our worth.
Curtis explained, "Decide what parts of your life you can no longer compromise, and build a fence around them." Having them always eat the last slice of pizza is maddening, but not a deal breaker.
But having them ignore you when you have an issue in order to talk about themselves might be.