Black dating tip
In the midst of the battle to improve his own life, as well as yours, he may just need a beautiful partner who can help him truly understand that although he’s up against an ancient beast, he can still come out victorious.
All the while, a woman must remember that the “key to a successful relationship is mutual benefit.” Even without financial stability or while dealing with personal hardships, it’s still very possible for a man to serve as a positive part of a woman’s life.
This is by no means a call for women to lower their standards, but it’s simply a reminder that not every depiction of a genuinely happy Black family will look like the Huxtables.
To be an older millennial—one approaching his mid-30s—is an interesting phenomenon because of how we’ve been able to see the world evolve, shift and change.
“Life isn’t easy and no one ever said it would be,” Drayton adds.
“…We are battling ideals that have been ingrained and reinforced since childhood by society and tons of financial/economic/social obstacles, they will not disappear just because we think they should.” So despite the strength that a man may have and the desire that burns within him to always protect and provide, there are times when he is not always able to be the knight in shining armor that he was taught to be.
All the while, Black women are making incredible strides on both a collegiate and economic level.
While she also insists that boundaries and limitations are put in place, it’s important that your breaking point is based on his efforts as a partner in the relationship and not based on his current circumstances.
In our fantastical journeys to find the Jay-Z to our Beyonce or the Barack to our Michelle, it can be easy to forget that at one point even these great men faced hardships and struggles. It’s the effort to remove himself from troubling circumstances that is key.
“Black men, however, are increasingly facing the harsh realities of mass-incarceration and the sky-high unemployment rates that have disallowed them access to the typical ‘masculine’ roles — leaving then vulnerable and confused.” This shift is one that can cause confusion and stress in a relationship, but Drayton explains that there are certain tips Black women should always remember when they find themselves in a relationship with a strong man who happens to be going through hard times.
The foundation of the advice comes from one of the golden rules to having a successful relationship — patience.
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“Though [every woman] wants to be treated with love and respect; love and respect can look quite different than it did in the Disney movies and love stories we grew up entertaining.” Have a conversation about what you really need your partner to provide and in what ways you truly need protection.